To Whom It May Concern
by DarkSoleil
Summary: To any teenage boy, a mistakenly sent collection of Icha Icha books instead of an encyclopedia would seem like a dream come true. To Hinata, however, it is a very, very, large mistake. NaruHina.
1. Email Sent

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the idea.

**Title:** To Whom It May Concern.

**Pairing:** NaruHina.

**Raiting: **T.

**Summary:** To any teenage boy, a mistakenly sent collection of Icha Icha books instead of an encyclopedia would seem like a dream come true. To Hinata, however, it is a very, very, large mistake.

Notes: This is the Dear Stranger Spin-Off. It is not a sequel, since it does not continue where the last one left off. This story will be in mostly email format, although I might change a few things along the way. Enjoy.

* * *

To Whom It May Concern,

On January 27th, I ordered the complete set of _'The Roots of Konoha, The Encyclopedia' _for the amount displayed on the advertisement.

I am disappointed to say however that _The Roots of Konoha, The Encyclopedia' _was not delivered to my home. In it's place I received the complete collection of _'Icha Icha, 25__th__ Special Edition'._

To resolve this problem I would appreciate the company's full cooperation. I look forward to hearing from you as quickly as possible.

Please contact me as soon as you can.

Sincerely,

_Hyuuga Hinata._

_45__th__ Cen. Lane._

_Yuli, Konoha._

_HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com__._

* * *

Miss Hyuuga,

We apologize sincerely for the obvious mistake in your order. However, our records show that you ordered the _'Icha Icha, 25__th__ Special Edition' _on January 27th also. In order to resolve this problem as quickly as possible we will need you to provide the necessary information.

If you can possibly send me a copy of your receipt, order number, and any other valuable information that you can find, I would greatly appreciate it.

Thank you,

_The Leaf Printing Company._

_763 S Rd, Mudd Hwy._

_Reid, Konoha._

_Leafprints (at) leaf (dot) com._

* * *

To Whom It May Concern,

Attached to this email are the files holding the order number, receipt, invoice, and a picture of the _'Icha Icha, 25__th__ Special Edition'_.

I look forward to your reply.

Sincerely,

_Hyuuga Hinata._

_45__th__ Cen. Lane._

_Yuli, Konoha._

_HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com__._

* * *

_To: SasukUch (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: ShikNara (at) leaf (dot) com._

We have a problem. I've forwarded the emails to you in a separate one, but you need to solve this now. We've managed to screw up royally with the daughter of our major investor.

-

-

_To: ShikNara (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: SasukUch (at) leaf (dot) com._

I've looked in every file we have. She ordered it. If she's too embarrassed to admit it, or daddy caught her reading it…well, too bad. You'll have to tell her that she's going to either pay for it, or just refund. She'll have to return it, too. It doesn't matter if she's the daughter of whomever. That edition is our most expensive one.

_-_

_-_

_To: SasukUch (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: ShikNara (at) leaf (dot) com._

There's no way she ordered it. She's ordered every edition of the encyclopedia. Unless she has a new boyfriend and he got a hold of her account…then…no, forget it.

I've sent about 24 emails to the moron. He still hasn't replied. Did they even come in today? Contact him.

Now, please. I'd like to keep my job.

-

-

_To: ShikNara (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: SasukUch (at) leaf (dot) com._

Aren't you supposed to be the lazy one? Is Ino pregnant or something? You don't even need the money.

I called him. He said he was replying when I interrupted him.

_Right._

_-_

_-_

_To: SasukUch (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: ShikNara (at) leaf (dot) com._

Ino? Pregnant? If there's one thing I've learned with her, Sasuke, is how to be self-sufficient.

I'm still waiting for his reply.

_-_

_-_

_To: ShikNara (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: UzumakiN (at) leaf (dot) com._

I've talked to every one in the Encyclopedia dept. No one has records of her ordering it. You'll have to tell her that she has to return the 'Icha Icha' order. Although, I don't see why _anyone_ would return that one. It's the best edition yet!

Well…good luck?

-smiley-

-

-

_To: UzumakiN (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: ShikNara (at) leaf (dot) com._

As much as I enjoy working here, Naruto, I will not be responsible for your ideas! You were the one who wanted to do the whole 'Free Edition!' ad! Her order probably got mixed it with that one.

_You do it._

So troublesome.

-

-

_To: ShikNara (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: UzumakiN (at) leaf (dot) com._

Oooh…so _feisty._ Fine. I'll tell Princess Nerd over there to return it.

Either way, _I'm sure she'll be honored to talk to the company CEO! Now beware my smooth ways._

I'll probably get her number too!

Just watch me.

-

-

_To: UzumakiN (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: ShikNara (at) leaf (dot) com._

We already have her number. Dumbass.

_Yeah…smooth._

* * *

_Tell me if I should continue this, or scrap it. Please __**review.**_

Until Next Time,

Darkofthenight.


	2. Re: Sexy

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the idea.

Notes: _Sorry for the update delay everyone. School is always going to be top-priority but I'll try to get them out as soon as I possibly can._

* * *

Miss Hyuuga,

We've reviewed all the information that you have provided and we'd like to thank you for all of your cooperation. There seemed to have been a small mistake in the ordering process, and our offer for the _'Icha Icha, 25th Special Edition' _case had been added as a free order. We'll begin shipping the _'The Roots of Konoha, The Encyclopedia' _as soon as you give you reply with the authorization.

Thank you,

The Leaf Printing Team.

* * *

To Whom It May Concern,

Thank you for all your help, and I authorize the shipping of _'The Roots of Konoha, The Encyclopedia' _as soon as you can. I have a small question though, do I ship back the _'Icha Icha, 25th Special Edition' _case immediately? If so, can I be provided the address?

Sincerely,

_Hyuuga Hinata._

_45th Cen. Lane._

_Yuli, Konoha._

_HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

* * *

Miss Hyuuga,

The shipment has been sent out; it should arrive within 10 to 14 business days.

-We're providing the _'Icha Icha, 25th Special Edition' _free of charge.

Thank you,

The Leaf Printing Team.

* * *

_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

Sakura, I've solved the problem with the Encyclopedia. However, I've seemed to have been 'gifted' the Icha Icha case too. Does Sasuke want it? I glanced at it and I thought my cheeks were going to burst.

-

-

_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

I told him, and he said no. His friend might like it though. Sasuke had to deal with your case, and he says to ignore some emails that are coming your way.

-

-

_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

Sasuke still works there? Oh. That's why they probably replied so quickly then. Tell him thank you for me.

P.s: Emails?

-

-

_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: UzumakiN (at) leaf (dot) com._

Hello.

Are you single?

_-_

_-_

_To: UzumakiN (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

Erm…yes?

Who is this?

-

-

_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: UzumakiN (at) leaf (dot) com._

I am your father.

-

-

_To: UzumakiN (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

Hi, daddy. Now, who are you really? I've been warned about these …so should I just block you?

-

-

_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

Yeah, H. Naruto got your email. Lmao. Just warning you.

-

-

_To: UzumakiN (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

No need to block me, little lady. The most important thing is…who are yoouu? Are you hot?

-

-

_To: UzumakiN (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

No, Naruto. I'm a fat, old, 76 year old woman and I have 36 warts. Most of them are located on my buttocks, and I could show them to you if you like.

Want to meet up somewhere? Dermatologists are too expensive anyway.

-

-

_To: UzumakiN (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

Erm…sexy?

* * *

_Please __**review.**_

Until Next Time,

Darkofthenight.


	3. Forward Message

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the idea.

Notes:_ I got this out as soon as I could. Hope you enjoy it!_

* * *

_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

I think I've scared him off, but I'm not so sure. I gave him my nana's description…but if Naruto's as weird as you say he is, he might just find that attractive.

Oh geez.

-

-

_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

Well, H, at least there's one thing you don't have to worry about. If you guys get married and grow old, he won't mind the look.

-

-

_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

First of all…I don't plan on marrying him OR getting old and nasty. Hehe. I'm going to be a complete MILF.

-

-

_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

Shouldn't it be GILF then? Grandma? ROFL. Oh, H.

"Hey who's the hottie?"

….

"OH MY GOD, GRANNY."

-

-

_To: UzumakiN (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

I'm glad you find me so attractive, Naruto. I know sagging breasts aren't everyone's taste, but I'm glad you'd accept me as a whole.

Anyway, I think my grandchildren need a new stable granddaddy, you know? I'm glad you're stepping up to the challenge.

-

-

_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: UzumakiN (at) leaf (dot) com._

Hina, you're too sexy to be that old. –wink-

You telling me you're a GILF is like me telling you I'm not smart.

-

-

_To: UzumakiN (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

Erm…not to be blunt or anything Naru…but that's not the best statement to say. –grin-

-

-

_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: UzumakiN (at) leaf (dot) com._

Aw…Hina…you hurt my feelings. I thought my intelligence would impress you. –wink- I have my own company, you know.

AI IZ A BIG BOI.

-

-_ To: UzumakiN (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

Aw, Naru. You're so grown up! Why…I last heard you moved on from the diaper to the training kind! I couldn't be any prouder.

-

-

_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

LOL. I swear I cried, Saku. Have you been drinking again? You seem just a bit…hyped up? Or have you been getting some booty for Sasuke?

…

Don't deny it. I'd tap that too.

-

-

_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

I wouldn't blame me either, if it was actually happening. –sigh- I _wish, _but noooo, Sasuke wants to be a total prude.

I feel like a pervert. –grin-

-

-

_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

…._Feel_ like a pervert?

...

...

…ahem.

* * *

_Please review._

Until Next Time,

Darkofthenight.


	4. Re: Marriage

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the idea.

Notes: _So sorry for the delay guys. Life has been a little hectic.

* * *

To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

Welllll, ahem to you! I am not a pervert. I am the cleanest thing there could ever possibly be.

I'm hurt to think you'd ever find me to be perverse. D:

…

…

Okay, I'm not even fooling myself.

Damnit.

Where's the Playgirl?

-

-

_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

LMAO. Saku, even you're email name is perverted. I mean, rly?

I love youuuu.

Oh by the way…I think I just made the biggest mistake of my life.

Toodles.

-

-

_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

Wait…WHAT?

-

-

_Earlier…_

_-_

_-  
_

_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: UzumakiN (at) leaf (dot) com._

Why yes! I DID move on from those.

But now I'm using the beach kind, so that my toosh doesn't get diaper rash. It's a very nice toosh. Wanna touch it?

Hehehe.

-

-

_To: UzumakiN (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

Well, of course I do. My sole reason for being on this planet is to touch your booty. Would you like me to spank it too?

There.

Oh!

I see a print mark.

_I'VE CLAIMED YOU AS MINE._

Rawr.

So, now I have to do the right thing. As your owner and all.

-gets down on one knee-

-

-

_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: UzumakiN (at) leaf (dot) com._

Oh….

This…

THIS IS SO SUDDEN.

I...I j-j-just don't know what to say!

Oh, my LOVE.

Yes!

YES!

YES, DAMNIT.

-

-

_To: UzumakiN (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

-grabs package-

Oh, woman. DON'T MAKE SUCH A SCENE, PLZ.

….

Naruto.

Stop.

Crying.

-

-

_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: UzumakiN (at) leaf (dot) com._

Omg. I have to call all my friends, and I need to get a dress.

Should I get it in white? Nah, I'm not a virg- YES, white it is. I mean, since I'm so untainted, and you're going to claim me, I think we should go with white.

….

Cough.

WE SHOULD GET IT IN BLUE, right? It would match my eyes, and then I could wear a big diamond necklace to attract attention to my boobehs, and you'd be a proud husband.

-

-

_To: UzumakiN (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_Oh, yes. _I'd be showing off my property.

Sort of like Real Estate, but with less money involved.

Do you want a tiara too?

-

-

_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: UzumakiN (at) leaf (dot) com._

_Oh, honey._ YOU KNOW ME SO WELL.

-bursts into tears-

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I JUST CAN'T HELP IT.

Sob sob sob.

-

-

_To: UzumakiN (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

You know I know you better than anyone else.

It's the perfect match-up I say.

You do realize our wedding sounds like an edition of _Playboy: Wedding Edition_?

-

-

_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: UzumakiN (at) leaf (dot) com._

YEAH, WELL. That's why it's _special._

…

Hehe.

This was fun.

Is there any other way we could continue this? lol.

Like…outside of the internet.

-

-

_Now…_

_-_

_-  
_

_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

I GAVE HIM MY PHONE NUMBER.

-

-

_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

OH THE TERROR.

-

-

* * *

_Hah, Hinata is a dead woman. Please __**review.**_

Until Next Time,

Darkofthenight.


	5. NNTR

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the idea.

Notes: _I was pretty bored, and decided to randomly update. Sorry for the delay!

* * *

  
_

_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) : HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com_

Well, maybe he won't…use it?

…

…

OH GOD. HELP ME.

...

plz.

-

-

_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

Listen..grasshoppah…you are…

_Screwed._

But in a good way! You know, the kind where all hope is lost and you just resign yourself to accepting it, kind of way!

-

-

_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com_

But…sensei…

I don't want to be screwed! (Diz time) Sensei…save me now, plz?

(and wth, sakura? Don't you have to work? Stop replying so fast, woman.)

-

-

_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

Look, grasshoppah…I said to resign. Now, stop moping around and live your life! Do what you never thought you could! Sort of like a bucket list, but buckets are ugly! So, do a Prada list!

(AND FO YO INFOMAZUN…I don't have work today. Mwahaha)

So, has he called you yet?

-

-

_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com_

I rather have a Loui…so, I'll stick with the bucket list, kthnx.

(and you never have work…_I'm starting to investigate, sensei. Don't think I'm not._)

Yeah, he called once but I couldn't reach the phone…I'm kinda freaked to call him back. Hehe?

-

-

_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

Liarrrrr. You're not freaked! You're just a _wus. _Grasshoppaaaaaa, do not fear life! A wise man always said…erm…do not fear life?

(and I TOTALLY have a job…I'm not faking it at all…)

Hinata, call him back. NAO.

-

-

_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com_

Geeeessssh, calm down. I did…and he didn't answer! HA. Take that, sensei. So, anyway, I have to go. I actually have a job. Teehee.

See you tomorrow! Don't be late, or I'm throwing your coffee away…again.

-

-

_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

You only threw away my coffee (or so you SAY, you coffee stealer) when I was only like…4 hours late!

Well, grasshoppaahh…I 'pologize for not being there to make your whole entire year…but I'll be there this time! DIZ I SWEARRR.

-

-

_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com_

…okay, so I did drink your coffee. Sue me.

Okay, don't.

But still, you make sure that tiny toosh of yours sits down in that chair and we can actually _talk_ for once. I need a good laugh.

….

Regardless of whether your comedic skills are up to par or _not, _I still love talking to you.

-cue a smile-

-

-

_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

Aw…Grasshoppa…I lubb joo. Sometimes. Since you cheat on me with sexy men and I don't hear from you for like…6 years, and then you pop back into my life with a new set of twins and I'm standing there wondering like _LOL WTH_ while you tap your foot impatiently and junior breaks my vase.

I still want you to pay for my vase.

-

-

_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com_

Sorry. Can't pay for what YOU half caused. Teehee. So, see you Friday! NNTR.

-

-

_To: UzumakiN (at) leaf (dot) com_

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

Hey…Naruto…do you like coffee?

* * *

_Ooohh, naughty Sakura. Please __**review**__! Btw: NNTR stands for 'No Need To Reply', if any of you were wondering.  
_

Until Next Time,

Darkofthenight.


	6. Forward Reply

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the idea.

Notes: I was browsing around my stories and noticed this one had been neglected. Sorry guys! Hehe. I'm too forgetful. Well, here's the new chapter, enjoy.

_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

I'm going to murder you. Slowly.

With a fork.

_-_

_-_

_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

Well, if you're not trying to murder me with a spoon…I take it the date went well? You didn't leave him there, did you? D:

_-_

_-_

_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

No, I didn't leave him there. 'I' actually have a heart. UNLIKE SOMEONE I KNOW.

WTH, Sakura. I thought my heart was going to pop out.

_-_

_-_

_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

It was all Sasuke's idea! I swear!

I totally didn't annoy him until he gave me control of his computer. _Not at all. _

But.

You still haven't complained about the date, only about my actions. Hehehehehe.

YOU GUYS DID IT.

RIGHT?

_-_

_-_

_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

NO. We didn't. Even though you just made me laugh.

Sometimes, I wonder why you're my best friend, and then I realize it's you. Yes, it went well. Even though I barely spoke. lol.

_-_

_-_

_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

Aw, Hina. You make my heart flutter and all that good stuff.

…why didn't you talk? Poor thong you.

_-_

_-_

_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

I'm not a thong. I'm a thing. Get it right.

…and I was nervous! What else did you expect? Anyway, he talks enough for 3 people, so I just nodded and smiled along and he seemed pretty entertained.

_-_

_-_

_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

Yes, you are a thong. A really thin one with a big pink ribbon on it. 3

Naruto always leads every conversation. It's Naruto. That's what he does.

_-_

_-_

_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

Oh, I like thongs. They're so comfortable.

Oh, Ino sent me a nice message the other day, and I thought you'd like it.

_Dear Friends,_

_Your mothers a hoar,_

_Your dad is a bore._

_Your dog is a cat,_

_And your husbands a rat._

_I love you anyway, though!_

_-Ino._

Isn't it beautiful?

-

-

_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

-wipes tears from eyes-

I cried. I swear.

And thongs are totally comfortable! Especially when they get stuck in your _culo_ and you're trying to dig it out in the middle of the highway, and then some drunk creep sees you from his truck window, so you start cussing him out, and he just laughs when you realize that you just crashed into a tree and you still haven't managed to dig up the treasure.

I didn't crash on purpose though! It was all that damn car freshener and me trying to avoid it. How dare he look all tree like.

-

-

_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

Sakura…just…stop.

Right there.

…

You crashed into your air freshener?

…trying to dig your thong out? _Out of your culo?_

-

-

_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

Yes! Exactly! You're the only one that ever gets me, I swear.

-

-

_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

Yes, honey. I know. Everyone is just insane and you're our only normal one left.

Virtual hug!

-

-

_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

-fondles your bewbies-

Yay! DD's!

* * *

:)

_Yay, bewbies. Oh, a culo is like the Spanish word for ass/butt. Haha. __**Please review.**_

Until Next Time,

Darkofthenight.


	7. Attachment: 1 File

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the idea.

Notes: So I was browsing my stories, and I decided to update this one…and while I read it, I realized something. **I have a lot of issues. **Haha. I mean…either I wrote these smoking something (even though I'm completely sober, which the scariest part, that I'm totally sober and I wrote this) or I have to pay for one of those sessions where they decipher these things. Well, you guys seem to enjoy it…so, insane I shall stay! Hope you all enjoy this chapter.

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_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

I attached a picture of the office party that I told you about over lunch yesterday. You'll see what I mean when I said that Neji woke up without any recollection of the night before.

Oh, yeah.

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_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

Um.

just…wow. I didn't know Neji knew how to dance, let alone on a rolling chair. And is he grabbing his crotch?

_Someone think he's Michael Jackson._

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_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

I guess he's white enough. Still, you have to admit he has some nice moves. You should have seen Naruto dancing though.

Frisky little gerbil. Had to slap him a couple of times to GET AWAY FROM MY ASS, NARUTO.

Yeah.

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_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

Well…at least we know he likes your butt? I mean, honey, it's not the largest thing in the universe or anything, and I'm rambling only because I'm trying not to laugh at the image and oh my god don't kill me when you read this but I think that Naruto might be gay because I swear I saw him reading one of those teen magazines with those gay brothers on the cover and holy tacos HINATA HE'S GAY JUST GET AWAY FROM THAT BEFORE YOU GET HURT HONEY IT'S NOT WORTH THE PAIN. IT REALLY ISN'T.

Been there.

Done that.

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_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

It's not your fault sweetie. It was impossible to tell. Who would have know Sai was gay?

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_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

I'm not talking about Sai! He's not gay…gosh…

Why does everyone insist that he was?!

AND YOUR IGNORING WHAT I SAID ABOUT NARUTO.

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_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

He _so was. _He hit on Sasuke, darling, and called him Papi while flashing his hotel room card. I mean…if that doesn't scream Elton John then I don't know what does!

And I'm only ignoring it because I was making him read the magazine to tell me which brother I am most compatible with.

Geez.

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_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

…um….aren't you a tad to old for this? Not that you're old or anything darling! I'm just sayin.

Just.

Sayin.

Yeah.

Not seriously or anything.

Just,

Sayin.

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_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

And Sasuke waxes his eyebrows. That's a little gay.

Just.

Sayin.

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_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

HE DOES NOT. They're naturally beautiful!

You and I are just jealous!

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_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

He told me to write that…btw. Which is kind of gay in itself…

Just sayin.

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_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

Lmfao. I love you, darling. Even though you're a jealous hoe bag who called my mancandy gay.

[:

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_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

MANCANDY? WHAT? I thought you guys were just…um…testing the waters? Are you telling me you've tapped that muscular blond popsicle?

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_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

No, imbecile. I'm only calling it as I see it. He is delish, and so I will refer to him as candy. And he's only asked me out a couple of times. It's not that serious, you know that.

And, besides…unlike JOO, I DO NOT REFER TO MY MEN AS PIECES OF SUGAR ONLY WHEN I GET SOME. OKAY?

Okay.

…hey, when _are_ you getting some?

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_To: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

None of your beeznees.

Jeez.

And I already DID for your information.

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_To: Spankme (at) leaf (dot) com._

_From: HinataH (at) leaf (dot) com._

Yeah. I'll believe that when you prove to me that Sai was straight.

Just sayin.

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* * *

_Heh, I hope you all enjoyed this. It felt a little bit odd writing in my old random style, but I hope I haven't lost the craziness. Feedback is always appreciated!_

_Until Next Time,_

_D._


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